But you, you just know, you just do

Nothing is unfolding as it should, my body feels corroded. I want a new one. Sometimes I feel as if I were stuck in a grave, unmoving – sheltered by nothing but aching flesh and bone. Is everything else useless? My soul feels unfinished but perhaps it is time to call it quits. If I die I don’t see what that has to do with anything. Haven’t I died before? Isn’t it the living part that is the hardest of all? I’m so tired of crying myself to sleep. I hate these nights where my brain is helpless, and my body restless. I can feel myself drowning.